Resolutions

I’m the absolute worst when it comes to new years resolutions, but I still continue to make them. With my birthday being the same time I consider them more to be year resolutions. So, I suppose this is my list of Year 29 Resolutions:

1. Save

2016* will be the year of fiscal responsibility. I want to work on lessening unnecessary spending, as well as make and keep a personal budget. My goal is to pay off my credit card by the end of the year, and have a significant amount in savings.

*We’ll turn a blind eye to any extravagant purchases made in 2015 for things taking place in 2016… Heh.

HOW: Create a budget and keep track of where my money goes. Identify unnecessary spending and make a reasonable course of action to reduce it. (For example, spending $30 a week at Subway can be removed, and replaced with the lower cost of packing a lunch from home.) Put the credit card in a drawer and only remove in cases of emergency! And do no convince oneself that a weekly deal on Amazon constitutes an emergency.

2. Relax

I’m making it a point to insert relaxation into my schedule in 2016. I’ve already registered for a yoga class that begins in just a few days time, and would also like to look into some meditation sessions. In my outpatient program I’ve also learned several relaxation exercises that I have yet to try at home. So, I should start incorporating them.

HOW: Weekly yoga, meditation, and relaxation exercises.

3. Explore

As you know, I love to travel. Unfortunately I spent the majority of 2015 unemployed and dealing with crippling anxiety. As a result I didn’t do much jet setting. However, I did meet my set goal of visiting one place I’d never been before when I went on a road trip to Savannah over the summer. And this year I’d like to increase that number to three new places, with an added specification that these places be in three different countries. I know this sounds counterproductive to #1, but the intention is for the some of the savings to go towards the travel.

HOW: Just do it.

4. Create

I have such a desire to write and photograph, but I’ve somehow convinced myself that my lack of skill outweighs my passion. Which is unfair, because skill is gained through experience. If I want to become a stronger writer and photographer, then I need to continue to write and photograph! So, in 2016 I want to work on creative and passion projects, and perhaps even take some courses to help build my skills and confidence up.

HOW: Set a goal to blog 10 times a month. Set a goal to get out an take photographs at least twice a month.

5. Be Social

When 2015 began I was dealing with agoraphobia. I was petrified to leave the house, and would break out into waves of panic at the mere thought. Now, at the close of 2015, I’m happy to say that is behind me. But I still have a long way to go. Intensive treatment has helped me re-enter the world, and I am now able to hold down 2 part time jobs (and a 3rd casual job), all of which I am comfortable in. It’s incredible to not spend an entire day at work petrified that I will have an attack. Or better yet, not spend an entire day at work having attack after attack.

So, stage one of re-entering the world has been a success, and stage two is to work on being around people. I don’t have social anxiety, per say. But I occasionally get so worked up over the idea that I’ll have a panic attack around people that it leads to a lot of avoidance behaviour. On a good day I can socialize no problem. So I’d like to work on is learning to work through the anticipatory anxiety I experience on the not-so-good days. I need to stop avoiding, and start enjoying.

HOW: Stop finding excuses not to do something. Stop instigating negativity in order to justify not doing something.

6. Be Healthy

I spent much of 2015 working to improve my mental health, and I’d like to continue that in 2016, while also incorporating the improvement of my physical health. The goal is healthy mind, body, and spirit.

HOW: 1) Physical Health- There’s three main things that I’ve been slacking on that I need to fix: Showing up to doctors appointments; Getting required monthly blood work done; Taking auto-immune medication. 2) Mental Health- Things to continue or improve: Continue going to outpatient anxiety program regularly; Continue reading to help improve my understanding of panic disorder; Practice the lessons taught in program.

And then, of course, healthy eating and exercise. That’s a given on everyone’s list, isn’t it?

HAPPY NEW YEAR, FRIENDS! Wishing you all a happy, healthy, and stress-free 2016!

happy-new-year-2015

Labour Day 2015

For the first time ever I went away for Labour Day weekend! I spent 4.5 days in Toronto and it was fab. I spent time with old friends, new friends, and saw three of my favourite celebs: Idina Menzel, Gillian Anderson, and Hayley Atwell.

After somehow making it through the most stressful interview of my life on Wednesday afternoon I headed to Toronto where I met up with Gen at her office. She kindly took my suitcase, and I ran off to see Idina Menzel for the 9th time.

SMall IMG_8022Idina Menzel, Sept 2 2015, Sony Centre

I didn’t make it through the whole show, as I was out-of-my-mind tired, so I snuck out during the encore.

On Thursday I headed to the awesome sauce hotel a friend and I had booked on a Fan Expo group discount (woo!), and they thankfully let me check in 4 hours early. I had a nap and after waking up and receiving a message from one of my favourite people in whole world (who I had not seen in 2 years) hurried off to meet Kiloran. While sitting on her balcony we realized it had been 10 years since we met at the castle, and decided to mark the occasion by attempting to recreate one of the many ridiculous photos we had taken during our first year on university. Because it turns out we’re just as cool as we were in 2005…

11891415_10100115772294914_1427146033049869263_oPhoto 1: 2005, Photos 2-4: 2015

Later that evening I headed to the airport to pick up Caitlin, and making our way back into the city.

IMG_0203The view from our hotel room. Not too shabby!

On Friday we toured around Toronto, since Caitlin had never been before. We mostly wandered, and thankfully the temperature earlier in the day wasn’t too bad!

IMG_2595The Distillery District

On Saturday we met up with Gen who took us over to Centre Island. We went earlier in the day, so it was busy at all! We wandered from one end to other and then headed back and grabbed lunch at the waterfront.

11952030_10100116473374944_8242612731677427721_nView of the city from Centre Island

Later in the afternoon Caitlin wasn’t feeling so hot, so she went back to the hotel to rest. Gen and I went for a nice walk down Queen Street and then back to the hotel to go swimming. It was so nice to catch up! She even mentioned how much better I seem to doing from the last time we met up a few months ago, which was really nice to hear. It’s one thing to think you’re doing better, but another to have someone acknowledge it.

IMG_0394Poolside, Sheraton Centre

Sunday was the BIG DAY: Fan Expo Canada. We arrived around 9:30 and spent an hour or so checking out all of the booths. It’s a bit overwhelming, even with knowing what I was walking into!

Our first scheduled event was a photo op with Hayley Atwell. We were both excited and nervous, especially being near the front of the line. If you’re not familiar with photo ops, to say they’re rushed is an understatement. Someone shouts at you to drop your bags, then stand on the red line, and then suddenly you’re just standing in front of the person, the photo is snapped, and you’re out. Now, unfortunately I can get kind of manic in such circumstances, so I may have bolted towards Ms. Atwell, said ‘hi’, and then just dove in for a side hug/cuddle. She said ‘WHOA!’ and the photographer started laughing. I really have no memory of what happened, but you can tell by the photo that she was caught off guard!

HayleyHayley Atwell

Up next was the Gillian Anderson Q&A, which was awesome. She was hilarious, people asked some really great questions, and she told some great stories.

11947976_10100116472361974_1199287061996281017_oGillian Anderson Q&A

Next up was the Gillian Anderson photo op, which was pure chaos. And I was so nervous to meet her! After the tackle debacle that morning I decided I really needed to chill out, which worked out. Phew! We were rushed in, I said something like “It’s so amazing to meet you!”, and she said “Thank you!” We all squeezed in for the photo and Gillian declared “I’m in the middle!”

GillianGillian Anderson

The last thing on our schedule for the day was the Hayley Atwell Q&A. Unfortunately when we went to line up an hour and a half before it started, the line was already out of control. We sat in it for awhile, but Caitlin needed to leave it early to get to the airport in time, so in the end we decided to just head out and get some dinner.

After that we both headed home, exhausted!

Thanks Toronto, Fan Expo, and awesome friends for a great mini holiday. Next Up: New York City!